When I got married at the age of 18, I was not huge. I had given birth to my firstborn daughter just 4 months prior to the big day but had managed to lose a good amount of the baby weight and looked and felt fantastic. The real issues started right after my son was born 13 months later. Initially I lost so much weight, I was skinnier than I had been for a long while but I developed Post Natal Depression and turned to food to block out the painful memories of his birth, and the events thereafter. My weight crept up and I ballooned from 12stone to 15stone in little under a year.
I hated myself, I still do. I got diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome in 2007 and was told that traditional diets would seldom work for me since I tend to be insulin resistant. I think this was when I really hit self destruct. I somehow managed to conceive my 3rd child and once again I began to lose weight after the birth. I was 17stone at the end of the pregnancy and went down to 15stone in a matter of weeks. This was not to last and since my little girl was born in 2008 my weight has continued to skyrocket despite trying and failing at many diets.
I sit here now, tired of being the fat friend. Tired of feeling like the world is staring at me and laughing, and tired of looking in the mirror and crying. I weigh 20stone. I do not feel attractive as I once did, I feel ashamed and disgusted. My self confidence is at an all time low.
Having considered all options, I have decided it is now or never and I have embarked on the Cambridge Weight Plan. I have my ultimate goal in mind and I am determined and desperate to achieve it. This is for me, I will feel good about myself, I will shop in a regular shop, I will enjoy life without fearing the daily humiliation that comes with being obese.
I want to be able to sit on furniture without constantly worrying that I am over the weight limit and it might obliterate underneath me. I want to have a bath and not create a dam every time I am in it! I want to be able to run up stairs and not give myself a round of applause with my thighs and belly slapping together. But more than that, I want to be able to take my kids on days out and join in with them rather than sitting on the sidelines.
Today is day 1. The first day of the rest of my life. I won't be the fat friend anymore.
The plan today has been:
Breakfast - Chocolate Mint Milkshake
Lunch - Spicy Tomato Soup
Dinner - Chocolate Mint Milkshake (warmed)
All of this washed down with 2 1/2 litres of water.
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