I met with my Cambridge Consultant this evening and we drew a line under the blips. I feel positive about this, we had a really inspiring chat and she helped me put things into perspective, she's great because she knows how I like numbers and facts so she used this to really inspire me. Looking at a year's worth of dieting seems so daunting but she helped me see that just 150 days could see me lose up to 5.5stone! 150 days is a drop in the ocean in terms of the rest of my life.
"I am one step closer today than I was yesterday"
I weighed in and booked my appointment to see her next Thursday for my first weigh in. Now I need to really focus on getting the first week done, the first week is by far the hardest and as a carb addict I know how punishing this will be...It will be worth it. Totally worth it.
It's so easy to forget how good the feeling of buying smaller clothes is, or finding that you don't spill over the sides of furniture...or even being able to see your toes without having to do an extreme sport.
That is what I am going to focus on!
Thursday, 23 January 2014
Wednesday, 22 January 2014
2014...My year!
I ran out of money last year, things got really bad with some income reduction, and the costs incurred from having a disabled child that destroys everything in his path when he has his epic meltdowns.
In the meantime, I remained conscious of what I was eating, and the amounts and really made an effort to say no to things I previously would have just shoved in my mouth. My weight therefore remains the same! Not great considering I want and need to lose weight, but fantastic considering Christmas and my Birthday occurred in December!
I have had some amazing news too, I have been selected to start university! My confidence on the day must have really shone through because inside I was hoping they weren't going to reject me on the basis of my weight, especially because it is such a physically demanding course, and career! I start THIS FEBRUARY! I am very excited with this new direction that my life is heading...However, I am also nervous because I am all too aware of how my size will influence my ability to succeed. I also know quite early on in the course, we will be having uniform fittings...EEK! Oh yes, the kind where you are expected to go behind screens to try on the samples. I hope they come up big enough otherwise it is going to be mortifying.
This in mind, I have started the Cambridge Weight Plan again today. Today is day 1, tomorrow I am meeting my Cambridge Consultant again so we have my weight recorded and ready.
For the first time, I feel excited. Taking off the fat suit will be great for my self esteem, and also for my training!
So day 1,
I have just reserved a Brita filter jug at Argos because I really need to make an effort to drink the 2.2 litres a day, I haven't chosen to drink tap water for about 10 years because it tastes disgusting, and filthy...so here's hoping this will help. I have been drinking mineral water until this point, but I am going to be a poor student shortly.
I have the Golden Vegetable drink flavour to add to the water as well as the Orange one should I start to feel that the water is too much.
Today so far, I have had the Spicy Tomato soup, it's a solid favourite of mine. Served in a mug as usual. I shortly plan to have a Mint Chocolate shake, and then later on I will drink another mug of soup (choice of Spicy Tomato or Mushroom).
In the meantime, I remained conscious of what I was eating, and the amounts and really made an effort to say no to things I previously would have just shoved in my mouth. My weight therefore remains the same! Not great considering I want and need to lose weight, but fantastic considering Christmas and my Birthday occurred in December!
I have had some amazing news too, I have been selected to start university! My confidence on the day must have really shone through because inside I was hoping they weren't going to reject me on the basis of my weight, especially because it is such a physically demanding course, and career! I start THIS FEBRUARY! I am very excited with this new direction that my life is heading...However, I am also nervous because I am all too aware of how my size will influence my ability to succeed. I also know quite early on in the course, we will be having uniform fittings...EEK! Oh yes, the kind where you are expected to go behind screens to try on the samples. I hope they come up big enough otherwise it is going to be mortifying.
This in mind, I have started the Cambridge Weight Plan again today. Today is day 1, tomorrow I am meeting my Cambridge Consultant again so we have my weight recorded and ready.
For the first time, I feel excited. Taking off the fat suit will be great for my self esteem, and also for my training!
So day 1,
I have just reserved a Brita filter jug at Argos because I really need to make an effort to drink the 2.2 litres a day, I haven't chosen to drink tap water for about 10 years because it tastes disgusting, and filthy...so here's hoping this will help. I have been drinking mineral water until this point, but I am going to be a poor student shortly.
I have the Golden Vegetable drink flavour to add to the water as well as the Orange one should I start to feel that the water is too much.
Today so far, I have had the Spicy Tomato soup, it's a solid favourite of mine. Served in a mug as usual. I shortly plan to have a Mint Chocolate shake, and then later on I will drink another mug of soup (choice of Spicy Tomato or Mushroom).
Sunday, 10 November 2013
Finding Motivation
Well, I am all too aware of the fact it's been a while since I last posted. There are no really good excuses, I have had some up and down health issues but things are starting to piece back together. Mentally I don't think I was ready. No more excuses.
I began the diet on 6th November and had my first weigh in on 9th November, I wasn't expecting to have lost very much but 5lbs down is a great result. This has really spurred me on and I am sat nursing a leek and potato soup in a mug as I type this.
Recently I had found myself getting bored of food, bored of eating the same type of thing all the time, and sick to the back teeth of spending more time in the toilet than with my family. I know my eating habits need to change because they are affecting my health and my ability to live a normal life.
The soup on the plan isn't that bad actually, it obviously doesn't have great big chunks of veg in it but it does have a nice flavour, it isn't a bad texture and it is a good enough portion size to really make you feel like you've had a good meal.
A big trigger for me this time around was during a day out at Legoland with my amazing kids, I was worried at each ride that I would have to do "the walk of shame" and that they'd tell me bluntly that I wouldn't fit so please don't bother. There were many rides that I simply didn't chance because it's hard enough to accept myself as I am right now without others laughing at me. I did however go on the water rapids, and the log flume (was a tight squeeze, I must admit). Overall we had a fantastic day out, we spent a lot of money on the pictures of us all on the rides. Looking at them I don't recognise myself, I didn't look like me, I just looked so different with my features merging into my fat shape. I made a vow that the next time we go to a theme park, I am not going to be that mother that has to sit on the outside looking in because she is too fat to get involved. I am going to be that mother that confidently queues with excitement for rides, not fearing the walk of shame. Family pictures with the woman my husband married looking like the woman he actually married.
So there we have it, I have bared my soul to the internet. I started the week weighing 20st1. I weighed 19st10 yesterday and I am very much looking forward to weighing even less than that on Saturday!
When I feel like I need to eat, I am going to repeat this little mantra "This too shall pass". I know I can do this.
I began the diet on 6th November and had my first weigh in on 9th November, I wasn't expecting to have lost very much but 5lbs down is a great result. This has really spurred me on and I am sat nursing a leek and potato soup in a mug as I type this.
Recently I had found myself getting bored of food, bored of eating the same type of thing all the time, and sick to the back teeth of spending more time in the toilet than with my family. I know my eating habits need to change because they are affecting my health and my ability to live a normal life.
The soup on the plan isn't that bad actually, it obviously doesn't have great big chunks of veg in it but it does have a nice flavour, it isn't a bad texture and it is a good enough portion size to really make you feel like you've had a good meal.
A big trigger for me this time around was during a day out at Legoland with my amazing kids, I was worried at each ride that I would have to do "the walk of shame" and that they'd tell me bluntly that I wouldn't fit so please don't bother. There were many rides that I simply didn't chance because it's hard enough to accept myself as I am right now without others laughing at me. I did however go on the water rapids, and the log flume (was a tight squeeze, I must admit). Overall we had a fantastic day out, we spent a lot of money on the pictures of us all on the rides. Looking at them I don't recognise myself, I didn't look like me, I just looked so different with my features merging into my fat shape. I made a vow that the next time we go to a theme park, I am not going to be that mother that has to sit on the outside looking in because she is too fat to get involved. I am going to be that mother that confidently queues with excitement for rides, not fearing the walk of shame. Family pictures with the woman my husband married looking like the woman he actually married.
So there we have it, I have bared my soul to the internet. I started the week weighing 20st1. I weighed 19st10 yesterday and I am very much looking forward to weighing even less than that on Saturday!
When I feel like I need to eat, I am going to repeat this little mantra "This too shall pass". I know I can do this.
Wednesday, 25 September 2013
Day 4!
Well day 2 WAS going well, I am not even sure why I binged but I did. I ate a chicken shish kebab with all the salad and a little mayo. I ate some potato wedges and some garlic bread...I suffered terribly with IBS and spent from 3am-5am in the bathroom.
Day 3 went great. I was straight back on plan and avoided any other food. The night before was enough to keep that at the back of my mind. I also peed on a stick to see if I have any Ketones in my urine, I did indeed have a trace of ketones so this is promising.
Today is day 4 for me, so far I have had a ready made chocolate shake. I quite enjoy these because when you slurp the last dregs out it kind of tastes like cake mix. I also had a sneaky peek on the scales to try and find that motivation...7lb loss so far. This is incredible and I feel so good about that. I weigh totally naked at home, clearly I cannot do this when I go to my official weigh in with my consultant so I know the results will differ slightly but this will not put me off.. A loss is so much better than a gain or a static result.
Day 3 went great. I was straight back on plan and avoided any other food. The night before was enough to keep that at the back of my mind. I also peed on a stick to see if I have any Ketones in my urine, I did indeed have a trace of ketones so this is promising.
Today is day 4 for me, so far I have had a ready made chocolate shake. I quite enjoy these because when you slurp the last dregs out it kind of tastes like cake mix. I also had a sneaky peek on the scales to try and find that motivation...7lb loss so far. This is incredible and I feel so good about that. I weigh totally naked at home, clearly I cannot do this when I go to my official weigh in with my consultant so I know the results will differ slightly but this will not put me off.. A loss is so much better than a gain or a static result.
Monday, 23 September 2013
Day 2...Temptations!
I know my body is crying out for carbs, I have had a pounding headache all day that has not gone despite drinking enough water to cause a hosepipe ban, and taking pain relief.
I am cooking my children a beef stew, I want that....I spotted some Hula Hoops in the kitchen...I want those too. I am not having either. I am instead nursing my leek and potato soup in a mug.
Feeling rather tired today but I know it will pass. I cannot wait for ketosis to kick in and take the stomach rumbling away.
Today I have had:
Leek and potato soup (in a mug)
Chocolate Mint Shake
and a Chocolate Velvet ready made shake
I hope the scales catch up soon. I don't want to have to repeat these first few days again.
I am cooking my children a beef stew, I want that....I spotted some Hula Hoops in the kitchen...I want those too. I am not having either. I am instead nursing my leek and potato soup in a mug.
Feeling rather tired today but I know it will pass. I cannot wait for ketosis to kick in and take the stomach rumbling away.
Today I have had:
Leek and potato soup (in a mug)
Chocolate Mint Shake
and a Chocolate Velvet ready made shake
I hope the scales catch up soon. I don't want to have to repeat these first few days again.
Sunday, 22 September 2013
My Journey Begins!
I would like to introduce myself. I am a 26 year old mother of 3 and I am always fighting a battle of some sort. I struggle daily with my disability, and that of my son's but I enter a far worse battle every waking moment of my adult life...obesity.
When I got married at the age of 18, I was not huge. I had given birth to my firstborn daughter just 4 months prior to the big day but had managed to lose a good amount of the baby weight and looked and felt fantastic. The real issues started right after my son was born 13 months later. Initially I lost so much weight, I was skinnier than I had been for a long while but I developed Post Natal Depression and turned to food to block out the painful memories of his birth, and the events thereafter. My weight crept up and I ballooned from 12stone to 15stone in little under a year.
I hated myself, I still do. I got diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome in 2007 and was told that traditional diets would seldom work for me since I tend to be insulin resistant. I think this was when I really hit self destruct. I somehow managed to conceive my 3rd child and once again I began to lose weight after the birth. I was 17stone at the end of the pregnancy and went down to 15stone in a matter of weeks. This was not to last and since my little girl was born in 2008 my weight has continued to skyrocket despite trying and failing at many diets.
I sit here now, tired of being the fat friend. Tired of feeling like the world is staring at me and laughing, and tired of looking in the mirror and crying. I weigh 20stone. I do not feel attractive as I once did, I feel ashamed and disgusted. My self confidence is at an all time low.
Having considered all options, I have decided it is now or never and I have embarked on the Cambridge Weight Plan. I have my ultimate goal in mind and I am determined and desperate to achieve it. This is for me, I will feel good about myself, I will shop in a regular shop, I will enjoy life without fearing the daily humiliation that comes with being obese.
I want to be able to sit on furniture without constantly worrying that I am over the weight limit and it might obliterate underneath me. I want to have a bath and not create a dam every time I am in it! I want to be able to run up stairs and not give myself a round of applause with my thighs and belly slapping together. But more than that, I want to be able to take my kids on days out and join in with them rather than sitting on the sidelines.
Today is day 1. The first day of the rest of my life. I won't be the fat friend anymore.
The plan today has been:
Breakfast - Chocolate Mint Milkshake
Lunch - Spicy Tomato Soup
Dinner - Chocolate Mint Milkshake (warmed)
All of this washed down with 2 1/2 litres of water.
When I got married at the age of 18, I was not huge. I had given birth to my firstborn daughter just 4 months prior to the big day but had managed to lose a good amount of the baby weight and looked and felt fantastic. The real issues started right after my son was born 13 months later. Initially I lost so much weight, I was skinnier than I had been for a long while but I developed Post Natal Depression and turned to food to block out the painful memories of his birth, and the events thereafter. My weight crept up and I ballooned from 12stone to 15stone in little under a year.
I hated myself, I still do. I got diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome in 2007 and was told that traditional diets would seldom work for me since I tend to be insulin resistant. I think this was when I really hit self destruct. I somehow managed to conceive my 3rd child and once again I began to lose weight after the birth. I was 17stone at the end of the pregnancy and went down to 15stone in a matter of weeks. This was not to last and since my little girl was born in 2008 my weight has continued to skyrocket despite trying and failing at many diets.
I sit here now, tired of being the fat friend. Tired of feeling like the world is staring at me and laughing, and tired of looking in the mirror and crying. I weigh 20stone. I do not feel attractive as I once did, I feel ashamed and disgusted. My self confidence is at an all time low.
Having considered all options, I have decided it is now or never and I have embarked on the Cambridge Weight Plan. I have my ultimate goal in mind and I am determined and desperate to achieve it. This is for me, I will feel good about myself, I will shop in a regular shop, I will enjoy life without fearing the daily humiliation that comes with being obese.
I want to be able to sit on furniture without constantly worrying that I am over the weight limit and it might obliterate underneath me. I want to have a bath and not create a dam every time I am in it! I want to be able to run up stairs and not give myself a round of applause with my thighs and belly slapping together. But more than that, I want to be able to take my kids on days out and join in with them rather than sitting on the sidelines.
Today is day 1. The first day of the rest of my life. I won't be the fat friend anymore.
The plan today has been:
Breakfast - Chocolate Mint Milkshake
Lunch - Spicy Tomato Soup
Dinner - Chocolate Mint Milkshake (warmed)
All of this washed down with 2 1/2 litres of water.
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